My room smells like vodka and shame
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
