we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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