i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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