ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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