you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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