My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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