just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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