He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
