I will die if light touches me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
