By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
