I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
