Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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