a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
