a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize