I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
they're like a gay fantastic four
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
