i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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