Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
