The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
