she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
