I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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