There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
