New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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