Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
