I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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