She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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