Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
