Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
