i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
