Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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