I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
