Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
