Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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