You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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