so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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