I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
