I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
