chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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