At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
