What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My pussy is not your playground.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i think we sleep fucked last night...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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