How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
