omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
