Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Semen is not good for contacts.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize