Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
