hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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