so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
