I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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