I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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