That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
