My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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