Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
