Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
