Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
