Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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