two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
