just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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