so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
