u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yo dont text me then not text me
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
