I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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