I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so let's talk penis.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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