good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
