Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
