i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
