He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
