Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
