well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this just has baby written all over it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
